A lot can happen between a couple in the time leading up to a divorce and during the divorce process. Thus, all different sorts of strong emotions can be flying around between a divorcing couple. Consequently, it is not at all uncommon for a parent who is getting divorced to be feeling a fair amount of bitterness and anger towards their ex. When a parent is feeling such emotions in relation to a divorce, there are certain things it is very important for them to not allow these emotions to seep into.
One is how they act when it comes to the issue of child custody in their divorce. When it comes to child custody issues, it is very important for divorcing parents to stay focused on what is best for their kids and to not allow a desire to take emotional revenge against their ex for past wrongs to control their actions when it comes to such issues.
Another thing it is important for divorcing parents to not allow anger towards their ex to influence is what they say when talking to or in the presence of their children.
When a parent is feeling upset at their ex, they may be tempted to make critical comments about their ex when talking with their kids or when having a discussion with someone else while the kids are present. However, this is something it can be very important to avoid, as saying critical things about one’s ex around the kids can be harmful to the kids.
There are many reasons why hearing one of their parents criticize the other can be very hard on children of divorced parents, including that:
- It could negatively affect a child’s relationship (both the actual relationship and the relationship in the child’s head) with the criticized parent.
- It could cause a child to feel like they too are being criticized.
- It could make a child feel like they are being asked to take sides in the divorce, which can cause a child to feel very emotionally torn, stressed and confused.
Thus, what one says about one’s ex around the kids is among the things it can be very important for a divorcing parent to exercise great care in relation to.
Source: The Huffington Post, “5 Ways to Help Your Kids Thrive After Divorce,” Samantha Rodman, May 28, 2015