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Thinking of the future in military child custody matters

In a military divorce, what sort of child custody terms end up being established in the divorce can not only affect the parents and the kids in the short term, but in the long term as well. Thus, when in negotiations over such terms, it is important to not only think about the present, but also the future.

On this note, one thing it can be important to keep in mind when it comes to child custody matters is what sorts of custody issues could be particularly likely to come up in the future. Different types of families can have different types of likely future custody issues. By factoring likely future custody issues into a child custody agreement, divorcing parents could be helping reduce the chances of costly and contentious disputes coming up down the line in relation to these issues. This can be beneficial both for the kids and the parents.

For military families, a class of custody issues that can commonly come up down the road are issues connected to the fact that members of the military often end up getting reassigned and having to relocate to a new location, such as parental relocation issues. Thus, potential future relocation issues are among the special issues it can be important to factor in when working on coming up with a child custody agreement in a military divorce.

Our firm understands the special issues, both those relating to the present and those relating to the future, that can arise in relation to military child custody. Whether a divorcing parent is a military member or is splitting from a member of the military, we can work closely with them in child custody negotiations and proceedings to help them with pinning down what the major present and future child custody issues are for them and with trying to reach a child custody agreement that addresses these issues in an effective and appropriate matter. For more information on our family law services regarding military child custody, see our page that covers this aspect of military divorce.

Be careful about what you say about your ex around your kids

A lot can happen between a couple in the time leading up to a divorce and during the divorce process. Thus, all different sorts of strong emotions can be flying around between a divorcing couple. Consequently, it is not at all uncommon for a parent who is getting divorced to be feeling a fair amount of bitterness and anger towards their ex. When a parent is feeling such emotions in relation to a divorce, there are certain things it is very important for them to not allow these emotions to seep into.

One is how they act when it comes to the issue of child custody in their divorce. When it comes to child custody issues, it is very important for divorcing parents to stay focused on what is best for their kids and to not allow a desire to take emotional revenge against their ex for past wrongs to control their actions when it comes to such issues.

Another thing it is important for divorcing parents to not allow anger towards their ex to influence is what they say when talking to or in the presence of their children.

When a parent is feeling upset at their ex, they may be tempted to make critical comments about their ex when talking with their kids or when having a discussion with someone else while the kids are present. However, this is something it can be very important to avoid, as saying critical things about one’s ex around the kids can be harmful to the kids.

There are many reasons why hearing one of their parents criticize the other can be very hard on children of divorced parents, including that:

  • It could negatively affect a child’s relationship (both the actual relationship and the relationship in the child’s head) with the criticized parent.
  • It could cause a child to feel like they too are being criticized.
  • It could make a child feel like they are being asked to take sides in the divorce, which can cause a child to feel very emotionally torn, stressed and confused.

Thus, what one says about one’s ex around the kids is among the things it can be very important for a divorcing parent to exercise great care in relation to.

Source: The Huffington Post, “5 Ways to Help Your Kids Thrive After Divorce,” Samantha Rodman, May 28, 2015

Divorce and a child’s dominant sense

As parents know, every child is unique and has their own particular needs and characteristics. When parents get divorced, it can be very important for them to keep the specific needs and characteristics of each of their kids in mind. There are several different reasons for this.

One is that these particular needs and circumstances can be important to take into account when it comes to the issue of what will happen with child custody in the divorce. The main goal when it comes to the issue of child custody in a divorce is to find the child custody arrangement that best promotes the divorcing couple’s children’s best interests. What a child’s particular needs and characteristics are can have impacts on what sorts of things would best serve their best interests when it comes to what the child’s living arrangements will be and other child custody issues.

Another reason it can be important for parents to be mindful of their children’s particular needs and characteristics when divorcing is that what these specific needs and characteristics are can impact what sorts of approaches would be best for helping the children deal with the divorce emotionally.

Take, for instance, a child’s sensory characteristics. Children can vary quite a bit in how they interact with the world around them. As a recent article that was written by a behavioral researcher indicates, one such way is that different children have different dominant senses.

According to the researcher, what sense is a child’s dominant one can impact what sorts of things the child can be particularly sensitive to when their parents divorce.  For example, children who have vision as their dominant sense may be particularly impacted by the things they see their parents do during the divorce and their parent’s visual cues, whereas children who have hearing as their dominant sense may be particularly impacted by the things they hear their parents say during the divorce. Thus, according to the researcher, a child’s dominant sense can be an important thing for a divorcing parent to factor in when determining how to best comfort the child during the divorce and what things to take special care to avoid doing around the child during the divorce.

Higdon, Hardy & Zuflacht, L.L.P. 12000 Huebner Rd #200 San Antonio, TX 78230 Telephone: (210) 349-9933 Fax: (210) 349-9988
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